But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
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you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
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I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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