I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
