oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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