the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
