god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
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