Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
