i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
