Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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