I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she told me i tasted like america
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
