Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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