beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
