yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
