I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
