problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
