oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
