she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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