I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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