just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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