Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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