Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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