omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
