I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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