oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
My liver is preforming stress tests.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
