david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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