You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
