I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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