My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
