hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
