Banned from zoo.
Again?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
