I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
