I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You made out with two different species that night
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
