im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize