He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
