i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
