Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
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Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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