So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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