Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
