I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
