Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
