Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
