i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
