alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Randomize