Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
