Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
