you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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