my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
