im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
