she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
