Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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