my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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