what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
