I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
