Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.

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(913): View more from Kansas

Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl

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(708): View more from Illinois

he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet

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(989): View more from Michigan

I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(562): View more from California

the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...

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(253): View more from Washington

Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.

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(407): View more from Florida

and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.

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