lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?