Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."

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  (212): so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to." http://tfl.nu/pyn2
  Replies (16) Good night (742) Bad night (1534)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  where do you find these guys?

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  (703): so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen" (1-703): where do you find these guys? http://tfl.nu/45ye
  Replies (8) Good night (1398) Bad night (4101)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.

  (1-608): View more from Wisconsin

  Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.

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  (608): Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there. (1-608): Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it. http://tfl.nu/bpdw
  Replies (40) Good night (5155) Bad night (1177)
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  (718): View more from New York

  we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.

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  (718): we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love. http://tfl.nu/cgcu
  Replies (9) Good night (5017) Bad night (1110)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.

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  (615): I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower. http://tfl.nu/v1s4
  Replies (33) Good night (5519) Bad night (1163)
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  (626): View more from California

  she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo

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  (626): she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo http://tfl.nu/loae
  Replies (18) Good night (10244) Bad night (1588)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.

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  (321): Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right. http://tfl.nu/ehig
  Replies (12) Good night (10059) Bad night (1236)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.

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  (520): You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night. http://tfl.nu/u2mc
  Replies (12) Good night (2176) Bad night (955)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles

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  (204): Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles http://tfl.nu/rk9c
  Replies (13) Good night (2648) Bad night (1076)
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  (707): View more from California

  You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?

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  (707): You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis? http://tfl.nu/earc
  Replies (7) Good night (2255) Bad night (667)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%

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  (778): Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25% http://tfl.nu/4mvy
  Replies (5) Good night (1225) Bad night (695)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept

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  (702): He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept http://tfl.nu/07xi
  Replies (5) Good night (578) Bad night (1166)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.

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  (952): WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms. http://tfl.nu/gsmc
  Replies (6) Good night (538) Bad night (1010)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.

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  (630): Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break. http://tfl.nu/wyko
  Replies (2) Good night (216) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away

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  (810): He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away http://tfl.nu/ytlg
  Replies (1) Good night (667) Bad night (174)

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