Texts From Last Night

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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.

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  (828): if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now. http://tfl.nu/f98q
  Replies (14) Good night (2164) Bad night (1346)
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  (415): View more from California

  Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling

  (415): View more from California

  God, I love San Francisco.

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  (415): Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling (415): God, I love San Francisco. http://tfl.nu/z7fc
  Replies (27) Good night (3165) Bad night (622)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"

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  (574): no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house" http://tfl.nu/wkle
  Replies (13) Good night (1430) Bad night (8784)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.

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  (704): He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle. http://tfl.nu/j8z9
  Replies (32) Good night (5919) Bad night (3666)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.

  (419): View more from Ohio

  you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.

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  (740): new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner. (419): you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio. http://tfl.nu/k9v1
  Replies (27) Good night (4415) Bad night (982)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.

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  (440): My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made. http://tfl.nu/g5vb
  Replies (16) Good night (6401) Bad night (1336)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos

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  (727): and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos http://tfl.nu/qrbd
  Replies (11) Good night (4751) Bad night (950)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.

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  (484): pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you. http://tfl.nu/yyvw
  Replies (2) Good night (1680) Bad night (645)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?

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  (402): Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night? http://tfl.nu/skph
  Replies (9) Good night (2051) Bad night (454)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else

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  (732): i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else http://tfl.nu/vcs9
  Replies (4) Good night (394) Bad night (816)
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  (310): View more from California

  Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on

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  (310): Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on http://tfl.nu/xhhi
  Replies (2) Good night (910) Bad night (528)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.

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  (239): This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries. http://tfl.nu/qlqz
  Replies (5) Good night (503) Bad night (369)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.

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  (705): I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud. http://tfl.nu/4ep3
  Replies (0) Good night (458) Bad night (290)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.

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  (330): I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun. http://tfl.nu/77j1
  Replies (2) Good night (786) Bad night (320)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.

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  (612): This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running. http://tfl.nu/k8o9
  Replies (1) Good night (220) Bad night (416)

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