i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.