Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you