I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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