Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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