College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.