Texts From Last Night

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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous

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  (267): Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous http://tfl.nu/kdtt
  Replies (11) Good night (910) Bad night (3871)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  worst lay ever....

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  as long as you cum, there is no bad sex

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement

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  (403): worst lay ever.... (780): as long as you cum, there is no bad sex (403): ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement http://tfl.nu/cjn6
  Replies (32) Good night (660) Bad night (6716)
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  (518): View more from New York

  apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party

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  (518): apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party http://tfl.nu/ab1k
  Replies (17) Good night (6045) Bad night (752)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?

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  (720): My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this? http://tfl.nu/za6z
  Replies (18) Good night (6049) Bad night (1032)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.

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  (435): it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush. http://tfl.nu/c95w
  Replies (36) Good night (1359) Bad night (5330)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural

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  (630): Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural http://tfl.nu/4h5e
  Replies (6) Good night (886) Bad night (2468)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.

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  (260): His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too. http://tfl.nu/ej6j
  Replies (8) Good night (4734) Bad night (942)
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  (408): View more from California

  We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.

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  (408): We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices. http://tfl.nu/tes7
  Replies (5) Good night (2443) Bad night (1156)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I'm stealing this baby.

  (1-719): View more from Colorado

  Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?

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  (719): I'm stealing this baby. (1-719): Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it? http://tfl.nu/p4hu
  Replies (5) Good night (1300) Bad night (542)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror

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  (865): He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror http://tfl.nu/h00k
  Replies (4) Good night (279) Bad night (600)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do

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  (734): If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do http://tfl.nu/wpum
  Replies (7) Good night (1187) Bad night (274)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.

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  (816): The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles. http://tfl.nu/r0bo
  Replies (4) Good night (274) Bad night (660)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station

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  (802): Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station http://tfl.nu/2mxj
  Replies (10) Good night (601) Bad night (271)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  How did you get him out of the shower last time?

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.

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  (727): How did you get him out of the shower last time? (1-727): Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed. http://tfl.nu/m3jy
  Replies (0) Good night (751) Bad night (201)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.

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  (941): That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that. http://tfl.nu/m9pn
  Replies (1) Good night (659) Bad night (249)

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