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your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Randomize
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