Texts From Last Night

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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I wish life had little blips of pornography

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  (778): I wish life had little blips of pornography http://tfl.nu/kuwx
  Replies (27) Good night (4118) Bad night (1296)
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  (707): View more from California

  I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever

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  (707): I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever http://tfl.nu/38jn
  Replies (51) Good night (6565) Bad night (763)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".

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  (817): Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel". http://tfl.nu/2v56
  Replies (15) Good night (5215) Bad night (1085)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs

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  (250): Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs http://tfl.nu/msvp
  Replies (10) Good night (1108) Bad night (3571)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.

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  (207): I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots. http://tfl.nu/eygf
  Replies (5) Good night (3468) Bad night (1154)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.

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  (630): Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week. http://tfl.nu/dxsu
  Replies (5) Good night (3061) Bad night (1533)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.

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  (937): i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage. http://tfl.nu/bqw6
  Replies (22) Good night (1971) Bad night (8627)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.

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  (479): When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls. http://tfl.nu/83jv
  Replies (16) Good night (6451) Bad night (1085)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.

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  (617): I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis. http://tfl.nu/8mhm
  Replies (9) Good night (1724) Bad night (4069)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.

  (-1816): View more from

  Probably is probably an understatement.

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  (816): It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister. (-1816): Probably is probably an understatement. http://tfl.nu/hxbu
  Replies (9) Good night (2515) Bad night (905)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits

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  (410): I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits http://tfl.nu/1cr3
  Replies (5) Good night (910) Bad night (1041)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"

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  (801): He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick" http://tfl.nu/sbhu
  Replies (6) Good night (448) Bad night (932)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love

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  (732): For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love http://tfl.nu/5u72
  Replies (1) Good night (996) Bad night (334)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?

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  (817): When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control? http://tfl.nu/7vjk
  Replies (3) Good night (671) Bad night (274)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.

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  (630): Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school. http://tfl.nu/2i6j
  Replies (2) Good night (483) Bad night (316)

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