Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?