I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
