Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?

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  (973): who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture? http://tfl.nu/e2ho
  Replies (38) Good night (1351) Bad night (3609)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?

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  (865): is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend? http://tfl.nu/lq8q
  Replies (85) Good night (18191) Bad night (1488)
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  (818): View more from California

  I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie

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  (818): I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie http://tfl.nu/1ta9
  Replies (15) Good night (874) Bad night (4030)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.

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  (814): No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me. http://tfl.nu/k4yz
  Replies (4) Good night (4704) Bad night (1039)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.

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  (218): Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there. http://tfl.nu/e7vr
  Replies (8) Good night (1365) Bad night (2396)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.

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  (613): You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best. http://tfl.nu/snhs
  Replies (5) Good night (2854) Bad night (1775)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?

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  (780): This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it? http://tfl.nu/t3fk
  Replies (9) Good night (2247) Bad night (745)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is

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  (814): I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is http://tfl.nu/5aqp
  Replies (7) Good night (3042) Bad night (746)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.

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  (772): So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me. http://tfl.nu/5rwa
  Replies (12) Good night (3567) Bad night (1339)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point

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  (724): I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point http://tfl.nu/cccx
  Replies (9) Good night (1879) Bad night (715)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.

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  (307): As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex. http://tfl.nu/yx96
  Replies (2) Good night (968) Bad night (464)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall

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  (860): I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall http://tfl.nu/remv
  Replies (8) Good night (859) Bad night (505)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.

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  (570): I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off. http://tfl.nu/8cid
  Replies (11) Good night (1065) Bad night (407)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  When was that?

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.

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  (515): Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy. (605): When was that? (515): Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy. http://tfl.nu/qcf9
  Replies (9) Good night (767) Bad night (1161)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.

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  (406): I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners. http://tfl.nu/nx0p
  Replies (0) Good night (738) Bad night (367)

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