Kareoke will never be a sober sport
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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