Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?