I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
