This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
They are going to name an STD after you.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
