dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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