I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
