Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
