dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
